Every year, or at least the last few years, I have been posting my little Thanksgiving list. Some of the stuff is legit, some of the stuff borders on absurd, but every little thing makes up my experience. I guess this year has been more of a rollercoaster ride than most, but I think I've grown and learned to appreciate some of the most important things in life.

So here it is. The stuff I'm thankful for...

• Comfy mattresses
• Perfect for curling up and getting a good night's rest or staying up all night having girl bonding time.
  
• Metronomes
• Stopping runaway trains since 1756 (actually, I don't know when, but yea)
  
• Christmas Carols
• It's never too early. A perfect little pick-me-up.
  
• Novels
• Jane Austen, random Spanish stuff, etc.
• Leaders with organization skills
• Try having one without...
• Cake
• You don't even want to know.
• Good British tea
• Tea time tides me over till dinner.
• Food Network
• Pathetic. I know...
• Email
• I'm addicted, yes, but can be immensely handy.
  
• My friends
• This applies to both friends old and new. There are those moments when you just meet someone and know that you've got a connection. There are those moments when you realize that someone you thought you knew and saw in a specific light turns out not to fit that mold, but is something even better. There are those moments when it doesn't feel weird even though physical and temporal distance has come between you. There are those moments when even though you've drifted apart, your brainwaves are still matched up. In those moments, a friendship is formed, solidified, and sustained. 
• My family
• Every year it's the same cliché about how they're always there for me and whatnot, but this year I've learned that even my family can bring me heartache. Instead of being all optimistic and whatever about it, I've realized that even though they hurt me and I hurt them, they're still family. Even if they'll never really understand me, they still want to do everything for me and to spare me what hurt they can.
• Random acts of kindness
• Even the littlest things can brighten someone's day. That candy cane makes one orphan smile. That kind word makes that person feel like an actual human being. That hug makes a mourner feel less alone. It's not big. It might not even cost anything. It makes a difference.

So now, as we enter into Christmas season, my charge to you and to myself...Show some love. Everywhere you look around you is a person in need of a little love. Love is invisible, intangible. It has no sound nor taste nor smell...But it can be embodied in so many ways. It is the sight of a father playing catch with his son. It is the warmth of a bear hug. It is a whispered word. It is a first kiss. It is the aroma of fresh chocolate chip cookies as you walk in your front door. God loved the world so much that He gave His one and only son as an atoning sacrifice. On Christmas, we celebrate the entrance of love into our desperate world...pass if along.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

Red Sox over the Angels.
Grape tomatoes.
Pride and Prejudice.
Grilled Cheese.
Elton John.
Iron.
Black heels.
Vitamins.
Brahms.
October.
Fall foliage.
Caesar dressing.
Mommy Van.
Webcam.
iPod.
Moulin Rouge.
Grey's.
Water.
English Breakfast.
Quit Playin' Games with My Heart.
Sunshine.
Apples.
Pumpkin pie.
Yogurt.
Hair ties.
L'Arc du Triomphe.
CARD
Tinted moisturizer.
Mickey Mouse blanket.
Scarves.
Red coat.
Cow pan.
Stovetop Espresso Maker.
El balneario.
Chorizo.
Cerveza clara.
Bicycle.
Watch.
Star Wars Lego keychain.
Love.
Jumbo.
Family Dynamics.

The pitfalls of being a psych major are many and far between.

1. The automatic assumption that I'm either stupid, or lazy, or both.
• I might be a little bit of both, but I do it because it's interesting to me, I really do want to help people (although some argue that psychologists hurt more than they help), and blood makes me squeamish, so being a medical doctor is out.
  
2. The crazy things you hafta do to try to get into grad school.
• Not just the GREs
• Not just research
• Not just boring data entry
• Not just crazy internships that make you feel like you're worthless
• Not just the two years spent being a research assistant in some lab somewhere, where you are less than nobody
• Not just pretending you like the research to get the job as the research assistant...
  
3. Having to explain that you do NOT want to be a psychiatrist.
• I don't wanna spend my life prescribing medication to people.
• Studies have shown that psychiatric medication isn't always effective and is typically best utilized with other forms of psychological therapy or behavioral intervention to maximize the effect and really lead to a better prognosis for the future
• In simple terms, meds usually can help lighten someone's mood, but more often, it can help someone learn better how to handle the problem for him or herself = stay better for longer.
• I'm okay with the fact that I won't be making as much money. I think I'll survive.
  
4. Analyzing anyone and everyone around you.
• I have friends with control issues, self-esteem issues, impulsivity issues, relationship issues...anxiety disorders, mood disorders, personality disorders, and even just.....pure insanity.
• I don't always realize that I'm doing it, and I almost never tell them about it....it's just there...in the back of my head...
• Really, who doesn't need a bit of therapy??
5. Self-diagnosis: analyzing myself and everything about me.
   
• Today I learned about all things Asperger's, a pervasive developmental disorder...mostly characterized by a deficit in  social skills....maybe that's why I'm a little bit awkward?
• I've also got depression, seasonal depression, slight obsessive-compulsive tendencies, an anxiety disorder, control issues, self-esteem issues, impulsivity issues, relationship issues....at least sometimes I think I do...you get the point...it's a little bit of the hypochondriac inside of me.
  
6. Learning about all the hard psychological stuff and actually seeing some of it is kind of a downer....
• Some parents are just awful. Some people are just messed up and they take it out on other people. Some people are just misunderstood and, therefore, treated like crap....like they're less than human.

Still....I'm kinda okay with it all. There was this one little boy that I met while volunteering at a behavioral hospital a few years ago...Now, I just went in a few nights a week to help put kids to bed. I read bedtime stories. I musta read Fox in Sox to this one little boy at least a dozen times...I have no idea what was wrong with him or what he'd been through...but one day, I walked in and he screams my name...comes running up to me and hugs me. Then he tells me he made me a bracelet. It's this little kiddie bracelet with his initial on it. In that moment...it just felt completely right. I hadn't done anything important, but I had shown this kid some love and affection...something he was desperate for. I wear it sometimes just to remind myself why I put up with all the crappy stuff...why I need to keep studying...and why I need to endure the sleep deprivation and crazy work hours and actual crazy people. If I can just show someone a little love and affection....that I do care...that can possibly make a difference. I might not even be able to see it make a difference, but if there's even the slightest chance that it does, I'm gonna keep going with it.

It's finally June...and the weather is proving it. Today, we hit a wonderful temperature of 94 degree Fahrenheit, not including the humidity. Summer in the city is no joke. Been out of school for a little over a month with a bit under three months left before hitting the books again. So, other than work and stuff like that I've had a lot of time on my hands...How I've filled it has been...well...completely unproductive. Lots of "Sex and the City"...lots of Food Network...lots of sitting...lots of Internet...lots of EATING.

So here's some randomness...

A certain someone on Baby Beethoven:

Anonymous: i feel like i'm high like half the time. and then its normal

Anonymous: and then its like WAHCHA

Anonymous: the lights

Anonymous: dark background parts

Anonymous: and then light backbackground

Anonymous: and all the animals

Anonymous: lighhhtsss

Anonymous: and then cute child

Anonymous: and hten lights and lots of spinning

Anonymous: OMG dude why is the hand placing rings in the ring stand slowly

Anonymous: stopp spinning

Anonymous: OMG

Anonymous: WOBBLY COLORS

Anonymous: you don't understand... how much brain stimulation this is for me.

Anonymous: i feel like my brain is going to burst.

*heart* haha.

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Elmo getting a lullaby from Andrea Boccelli.

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"He wasn't a crush...he was a car crash."
                - Carrie from Sex and the City

To be filed away and used later. Haha.

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Yes, well...anyway...Fare well for now...

almost there.